Passion

Its really been quite a long time since I updated my blog. Its hard to remember to write when I'm so busy at work but I'm gonna make more of an effort to now. I've been ridiculously blessed at work recently. I was promoted to Store Manager of a medium store now and my first two months there my assistant and I broke the all-time store record twice. This month we have already maxed out our budget with 10 days left to go...unheard of.

I don't feel worthy to be so blessed by the Lord. But I am thankful! I look at all the poor and struggling Christians in the world who love Jesus just as much as I do and wonder why he chooses to bless me so much. I try to make it a point to give wherever I can so I can bless other people and the kingdom as well. I want to be a good steward of the money he gives me.

Things have been going really well with my Small Group, I love those group of guys and we decided to stay together even after our 1 year mark. Could have asked for a better group of Christian guys to do life with.

I named this blog Passion because I have started going to Passion City Church now and I really feel a pull to it. For the first time in years I feel like it is MY church instead of feeling like a visitor. I really want to get involved and I applied to work with the High School group. Only they said they don't need any help there for a few months, so I've been kicking around the idea of going up to the front desk and just asking where I can serve. Even if its holding a door, I think it would be great to get more connected in what God is doing there. It would also probably be a great way to meet Christian girls....just sayin!

No Updates?

Ok so I've been pretty lousy at updating my blog ever since I started work again. I just am so fricken busy that when I get home (about 10ish) I'm just about starving, then I pass out....

So blogging time has been cut down alot. Basically since I started back at work again God has been spoiling me and lavishing me with blessings. While I still don't feel back to my full self as far as my sales presentation, I've been doing extremely well. My store hit and then maxed out budget for the month (huge deal) and people have been buying from me despite my rusty skills.....all I can say is that when I depend on God he always comes through!

I actually have had a few customers comment on my Bible (I bring it to work when I'm at a slower store) and my Christian Fish tie clip....all very positive. I even had one customer who just straight out bought after he asked me what I was doing reading a Bible and I told him it was my life manual.

Funny thing how God works...I talked to the guy and he ended up calling me dad to ask for financial advice. Turns out he has some big bucks and is retired. Overall I'm feeling very satisfied right now. God has really given me a platform to lift up his name and this time I won't squander it. I've been telling everyone who asks me about my success that I trust in him and he comes through for me.

It feels wonderful to finally give Him the due praise and glory he deserves. I don't ever want to steal it again....because I know deep down where all my blessings come from.

Back at the Firm

Ok so its been awhile since my last post and I wanted to make an update since a lot has happened. Without trying to write everything....God answered my prayer. He spoke in a way that was so clear and obvious that I knew it was him. And he was leading me back to Mattress Firm.

Its where I have the most leverage career-wise, leverage and influence I can use to spread the gospel. I'm not sure what that's going to look like yet, but I've been back for over a week now and I can say that God is really blessing me tremendously! While my sales presentation is a bit lacking and I'm having to relearn how to close ect ect....my prayers are being answered and God is just pouring down blessings. My first two days back I made it to the Top Ten Sellers list in the country!
Definitely a God thing!

I feel so much peace in following where he leads. I don't know exactly what he wants me to do next, as far as career path or anything, but I'm eagerly anticipating whatever he plans to do through me. One great blessing about coming back is my days off.... I really felt strongly that if this was the Lord leading me back then I shouldn't be working on Sundays. However, every Mattress Firm salesman is required to work Sundays, but even more so than that I wouldn't even want to work on Sundays during HUGE sale weekends like Labor Day. Well I can tell you that no salesman in the country gets those Sundays off, let alone any Sundays on a permanent type basis....but I felt strongly about it that if it truly was God leading me back that he'd work it out somehow. Well, he did. I am now the only salesman at Mattress Firm in the country who gets off every single Sunday, no matter what sale, no iffs ands or butts!!!

Amazing, and definitely a God thing for sure!! I also get a half day on Wednesday so I can continue to go to my Small Group! I'm happy to say that after being back for a week now, despite the huge amount of stress the job used to create, I am completely content in the Lord. Its a great thing that I can finally find contentment in something outside of circumstances....outside of my situation....outside of the world. It comes supernaturally.

Hollywood Doesn't Like Jesus

I'm at a crossroads. Anyone who knows me well knows that I've been pursuing a career in acting for the last year or so. Its been a passion of mine for a long time. I quit my job at Mattress Firm back in December of 2009, not to act but to join my dads business. Well the recession kind of took care of that, along with the fact that I refused to lie on the profiling test and say that I knew a bunch of rich people. So I then decided for the first time to go for my passion which has always been acting.

I had saved up enough money to pay the bills while I essentially got to pursue this while not working... very blessed for that. I have done of couple things here and there, and have greatly improved my acting skills thanks to Sandra Dorsey Studios. Now I'm at the point where I feel I have the confidence in my acting ability (method acting is intense) to get head shots and an agent. The sky is the limit for Chris Freed!......or is it?

You see, I have changed very much as a person during this nice hiatus from the real world. Will tons of free time I have come much closer in my relationship to God. More than I ever have been. In fact, I've become hopelessly obsessed with him. And I'm happier than ever about that. I don't ever want to go back. I have a peace that is indescribable. Knowing God is the only thing that matters. GOD, the creator of earth, of the universe, of atoms, of space-time, of reality. What else really matters? So here is my new reality. I want to live for him. I want my life to give him glory. I don't want this out of guilt; out of a sense of obligation; no, I want this because he is my everything.

And I've come to the point where I am having major issues seeing how a career in acting could possibly glorify him. Hollywood doesn't like Jesus, and is not shy about that. I will not take any roles in anything where the message conflicts with the teachings of the Bible. So where does that leave me? Not much. Mindless commercials? Perhaps. Christian movies? Do those even exist anymore? Secular movies with a good message? Not likely. SO, what do I do?

I love God more than acting. I won't compromise. So what does a career in acting that glorifies the Lord look like? I'm having trouble picturing it. Now could I use my status....fame...position to glorify him? Of course, and I'd love to do that. But I refuse to climb up a mountain of sin to do it. Am I being too judgmental?...I mean its not all bad right? Stop being such a hard-nosed legalist Chris, right? No. This is my life, not anyone else's. No one will be there at the end of my life when I bow in his presence. None of the directors will be there. None of my friends will be there. No one to blame as I give account for my life. Just me and God. And I want to hear these precious words:

"Well done, good and faithful servant" - Matthew 25:21

What does it look like to live a life for him? Does it mean I become a preacher and start a church? No, not necessarily. I've had a few non-believer friends suggest it. And I think its a sad state the Church is in these days if anyone who is serious about living for God is so extreme that they must become a preacher. Shouldn't all Christians have that same passion for him? I think there are enough preachers. Becoming a pastor is a calling God puts on your life, not a passion for Jesus. I think there are enough churches. But I don't think there are enough Christians who just live for Jesus in their day-to-day lives. And I want to be one.

So what will I do? Do I continue with the acting path? Do I go back to my old job and use my success to glorify him? Do I get a new job, or move somewhere? I'll keep praying and he'll give me the next step. I have no idea where this path will lead me, but he does.

Growing Faith and Making Eggs

I learned something that I want to share. One of the biggest prayers for myself that I ask God for is for more faith. I've been praying this for a long time. Not faith in his existence, of that I'm sure of; but rather faith in his Word and his Power.

From the time I was a child I grew up learning about all the ancient "Bible Heroes" who did incredible supernatural things. Moses parted the red sea. Elijah called down fire from heaven. Joshua made the sun stand still. Abraham conceived a child at nearly 100 years old. Peter and Paul healed people. On and on it goes. And the more I grew up and read the Bible for myself I read how these were just normal people.

"Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years." James 5:17

The only thing that they have over us was faith. And if you read some of my earlier blogs you remember how I learned how the Bible itself says all things are possible with faith. Faith is limitless, and there are so many examples in the Bible of godly men stepping out in faith in God's power and doing incredible things. Lets be clear, it wasn't them, it was rather that God works through faith. Faith is the gateway to God's supernatural power.

So this is why I always pray for more faith, but I was reading a book I recently bought on the subject and God revealed a startling revelation to me. He doesn't give us faith through prayer, but rather tells us that faith comes through hearing the word of God.

"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17

I never knew that. I had always imagined I could just pray for more faith and he would give it out as he pleased. This changes everything, because now that I realize that purely studying and reading the Bible grows my faith I can actively pursue doing so! This is very exciting to me! It's one of God's promises, and those are rock solid! One other thing I'll share that this book taught me was the meaning behind the book of James in the Bible.

Anyone who reads the book of James probably can't help but feel a little convicted, myself included. Basically it talks about works. Its a legalistic christian's foundational scripture. Probably the essential verse that sums up the book is this:

"So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." James 2:17

I was always a little unsure of what this meant since all other parts of the Gospels teach that we are saved by grace, not works. Well what I learned was that REAL faith WILL have works (or actions). Its not a matter us making sure we have action with our faith, its a complete and absolute --it will happen-- type of thing to identify true faith! We don't even need to focus at all on the works/actions itself, b/c real faith will naturally produce them! Here's an analogy that I feel God gave me to explain this (remember the cake analogy...well God must know how I like food...)

There are two people who grew up on an island and have never seen eggs before. They are both starving. God comes to each of them and hands them a carton full of eggs. He says, "If you crack these eggs over a pan, and cook them, they will make food for you." The first man has faith in what God said. So he cracks the eggs, cooks them, eats, and lives. The second man also says he has faith in what God said. He does nothing. He keeps saying over and over how he believes God. He eventually dies of starvation.

The second man obviously didn't really have faith in what God said, why?....because if he did he would have cracked the eggs, cooked, and eaten! REAL faith has ACTION! The first man proved his faith through his action/works. That is what James 2:17 really means!